Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Holy sore nipples Batman
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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