we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
