when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
