Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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