I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
