Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
