I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Houston, we have a squirter
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
