it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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