So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
