i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
