dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
