her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
