Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
