If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
