Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
