How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
