I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
