You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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