god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
