How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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