omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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