I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Floor bacon is actually really good
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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