We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
