I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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