I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
do herpes really smell.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
