dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
