This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
