Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
