it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
