walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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