Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I will die if light touches me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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