i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
