is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
