he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
