she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
