do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
