thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
