Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
