white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
