Yo dont text me then not text me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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