he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
