homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
