um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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