No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
