Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
