I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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