Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
