I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
