We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
