walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
