a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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